Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Drinking 40s, and buying shirts.

A Freedom Loving American drinking a 40oz of black label High Gravity)
I'm sure you're all wondering: "Does the great, PattyBadFingers drink?" And the answer you're looking for is "yes". I do drink. On a rather frequent occasion. I know your next question. "Why don't you post about it?" The answer is also simple. "Because: 'Fuck you.'" But seriously. There is a specific way PattyBadFingers enjoys getting drunk. I like cheap beer, and cheaper thrills. What does this mean? It means I drink Hurricane High Gravity (Pic Related).

Hurricane High Gravity, around here, costs about $2.50 a bottle. And by bottle I mean a 40oz bottle. That's right. I don't fuck around with those 12oz or 16oz bottles, unless we're dealing with the 12 pack of 8ozers (pictured in the left hand above). But we're missing the point of what a "Brass Monkey" is. Please, let the next diagram explain, for the most part, what a "Brass Monkey" is:

How Brass Monkey is made with Olde English 800 (8 Ball)
Basically, what you do is A. Drink a 40oz pf beer down to the label. B. Fill the rest of the beer up as much as you can with Orange Juice. C. Get fucked up.

Seriously. It's the best way to get down on disgusting tasting beer without a struggle. Hence the reason I chose to indulge myself with Brass Monkey in Hurricane High Gravity. Hurricane might be with worst tasting of all time. However, with a little Brass Monkey in the mix, we're dealing with a drinkable beverage. Example: My second Brass Monkey of the night.
How PattyBadFingers makes Brass Monkey

So, by the end of the night, the actual amount of beer you end up drinking that isn't tainted by Brass Monkey, is jokable. Most grown men can handle 1 to 2 Hurricanes mixed with Brass Monkey. Anymore than that and you're dealing with a suicide.

Keep in mind that Hurricane is a preferred beverage of homeless people and is even banned in some North Western States for homeless people "Butt Chugging" them. IE Drinking the beer through their anus in order to get more drunk.

So, when drinking 40ozers it is very important to remember your limits. It is not unnatural for a light weight person to get away with drinking only one Brass Monkey Hurricane. That's it, and that's all. Enjoy your beverage responsibly.

Another thing to keep in mind is the fact that Will Curley ( ) and I, have teamed up to make a sweet shirt we wish to sell. Pictured Below.

You can buy the shirt here:

Or, if you're in the greater Portland area, you can contact me to arrange a pick up service at my place of residency for only $10.00, here:

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