The Bad Girl Models Our T-Shirts

If you thought me wearing a BAD T-shirt was hot then you'll love this video we just made.

If you don't think this video is hot you're either gay or stupid. If you want a shirt buy one from our website below.

LINK

Wild William's: The Best Burger Joint in Town

Ok, so today I'm excited to tell you that I am finally doing another post on a restaurant. It is one of my favorite's in the greater Portland metropolitan area. It's a place where they serve the most American food out there. That's right. Cheeseburgers.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give to you, Wild Willy's Burgers. It's a burger joint located in South Portland, Maine, just off of the highway. It's hard to miss if you're heading to the Maine Mall. Anyway, here's the website, where all your questions will be answered: http://www.wildwillysburgers.com/

My dear friend Bruno opted for the classy photo under the sign

Basically, me and my friends have been going to this joint for years now. Ever since high school. The food is fucking awesome. Let me tell you that. Obviously the cream of the crop, however, lies in the burgers. And be aware, there is a lot to choose from. I want to say something like 15 different kinds. Once you find what you like, don't be afraid to stick to that choice, or venture out and try other burgers.

The Double Wide BBQ Burger

Another important thing to point out is that on every burger you have the option of going "Double Wide" which is fancy way of saying "Double the meat and cheese on my sandwhich, bitch." There is also an option to get bison meat on your burger, which for all you health freaks, I'm sure you'll fucking love. Both these options cost quite a bit extra, though. So be careful, consumer.



let's talk about what me and Bruno ordered shall we. Right from the get go, I was planning on posting about this in the blog, so I knew I had to get something awesome. I thought about getting the Rocky Burger which is your basic burger with assorted cooked onions and peppers on it. Delicious. However, I decided today to go with the BBQ burger, and ontop of that, I made it double wide. Which I don't really think is worth $3.00 more. But whatever, beggars can't be choosers. Anyway, I took a picture of my receipt so I could show you fools what I got.

The Receipt.

Some of the reviews I've read for this place all say that the pricing is reasonable (under $10.00 per person), however, as you can see, I clearly spent more than that. I mean, I can't complain. The food is awesome. Bruno spend over 20 bones there, I believe. However, he did spend quite a bit on an order of these fucking delicious deep fried onion centers. Fucking god damn, that shit was good. He let me have some. What a guy.



Now, one cheeseburger is all well and good, but let's be honest with one another, most seasoned vets on the food front are looking for a little more these days. That's why I am happy to say that with every order, I get another order of small fries, and add chilli and cheese for a little extra. Normally, I wouldn't go with the chilli and cheese, but the fries, unfortunately, are one of the short comings of the place. I mean, they're not terrible, but placed next to the god tier of burgers they sell, they fall miles short. For one, they aren't really salted, and they are very soggy. Two things that a huge turn off for me in the fry department. But, every thing has a weakness, right?

The Before. I can't remember what Bruno got for a burger.

So in the end, I ended up with the Double Wide BBQ Bacon Burger, with the Chili Cheese Fries, and some of Bruno's onion things. I would have spent another $4.00 if I had bought the homemade root beer that they make on location, which is literally the best soda I have ever consumed. They also serve a lot of local beer at the South Portland location. I can't speak for the others. However, don't expect to be ringing up a big bar tab, you can only order a maximum of 3 beers while dining in.

The After

All in all. This place is a pretty sweet deal to grab a burger with some friends. The employees are always super friendly, and helpful. Not mention the place just looks cool as hell. It's like a wild west theme (Wild Willy's, get it?). Just a fucking sweet place.

There's a lot of good reviews of this place on Urban Spoon. Here's a link: http://www.urbanspoon.com/r/259/1182388/restaurant/Portland/Wild-Willys-Burgers-South-Portland Fucking love this place, dudes. Go there if you can. I want to say that there are some locations that stretch all the way to Massachusetts. I'm sure the other places are just as good.

Drinking 40s, and buying shirts.

A Freedom Loving American drinking a 40oz of black label High Gravity)

I'm sure you're all wondering: "Does the great, PattyBadFingers drink?" And the answer you're looking for is "yes". I do drink. On a rather frequent occasion. I know your next question. "Why don't you post about it?" The answer is also simple. "Because: 'Fuck you.'" But seriously. There is a specific way PattyBadFingers enjoys getting drunk. I like cheap beer, and cheaper thrills. What does this mean? It means I drink Hurricane High Gravity (Pic Related).


Hurricane High Gravity, around here, costs about $2.50 a bottle. And by bottle I mean a 40oz bottle. That's right. I don't fuck around with those 12oz or 16oz bottles, unless we're dealing with the 12 pack of 8ozers (pictured in the left hand above). But we're missing the point of what a "Brass Monkey" is. Please, let the next diagram explain, for the most part, what a "Brass Monkey" is:

How Brass Monkey is made with Olde English 800 (8 Ball)

Basically, what you do is A. Drink a 40oz pf beer down to the label. B. Fill the rest of the beer up as much as you can with Orange Juice. C. Get fucked up.

Seriously. It's the best way to get down on disgusting tasting beer without a struggle. Hence the reason I chose to indulge myself with Brass Monkey in Hurricane High Gravity. Hurricane might be with worst tasting of all time. However, with a little Brass Monkey in the mix, we're dealing with a drinkable beverage. Example: My second Brass Monkey of the night.

How PattyBadFingers makes Brass Monkey

So, by the end of the night, the actual amount of beer you end up drinking that isn't tainted by Brass Monkey, is jokable. Most grown men can handle 1 to 2 Hurricanes mixed with Brass Monkey. Anymore than that and you're dealing with a suicide.

Keep in mind that Hurricane is a preferred beverage of homeless people and is even banned in some North Western States for homeless people "Butt Chugging" them. IE Drinking the beer through their anus in order to get more drunk.

So, when drinking 40ozers it is very important to remember your limits. It is not unnatural for a light weight person to get away with drinking only one Brass Monkey Hurricane. That's it, and that's all. Enjoy your beverage responsibly.

Another thing to keep in mind is the fact that Will Curley ( http://10tothe6th.blogspot.com/ ) and I, have teamed up to make a sweet shirt we wish to sell. Pictured Below.

You can buy the shirt here: http://thebadnetwork.storenvy.com/

Or, if you're in the greater Portland area, you can contact me to arrange a pick up service at my place of residency for only $10.00, here: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151127910909902&set=a.10150381083824902.359204.764229901&type=1&theater

9-9-12 5:28pm Taco Pizza, and Fruit Punch

Ok, so I know that has been a hot minute since I posted, but I'm  a busy boy. AKA I'm lazy. So, I figured I'd get back into the swing of things with a bang by making an epic meal on the first NFL Sunday of the year.

For those of you fools out there that don't know what a Taco Pizza is, try and imagine a giant soft shell taco, but instead of using a soft shell taco shell, you use a large peperoni pizza instead. Now, in order to make these, you will need the following:

1 Large Peperoni Pizza
1/2 Pound to a Pound of Hamburger Meat
1 Package of Taco Seasoning
1 Can of Bean Dip
1/2 of a Red Onion
1 Jalepeno Pepper
2 Habanero Peppers
A Few Handfuls of Tortilla Chips
Lettuce
Sour Cream
2 Cups of Mexican Cheese






Cook the meat. Dice the onions, peppers, lettuce. Sautee the peppers in a saucepan. Bake that bitchin' pizza, now prepare to combine this stuff together. Things are about to get very real on the food front.

Obviously put the Taco mix inside the meat, you idiot.

Once the pizza is done, find a big fucking plate, or whatever you got to put that pizza on. Keep in mind, it has to be like a 16 inch pizza. The bigger, the better. Just like America. Once the pizza is done and in your big ass plate or whatever, slather the bean dip in the center of the pizza. You wanna make like a fat line of the brown shit going down the center of the pizza. Cover the dip with about a cup of the cheese. Next? The meat. Throw it all ontop of the cheese. Next, put all of your onions and peppers ontop. Lettuce goes next. Finish it up with rest of the cheese, and your cheese. Almost done, now. Just fold it up, add your sour cream accordingly, and get ready to feast.

So, now you see what we're dealing with. This is some serious shit.









The only other step you have to do is enjoy. May I suggest you utilize my brothers method of consumption, half of a pizza box as a plate, shove it right to face so fast that an 8mp camera can't even catch the speed of the fork without blurring, and wear dumb pajamas. It doesn't really matter, this is something that is rivaling Epic Meal Time, y'all.

Today we're going to making some chicken and rice. Usually I like to use simple white rice with the chicken so it absorbs some of the flavor of the chicken the rub I put on it. But, today I decided to go with some yellow rice. Still tastes fine. This meal I cooked today can be adjusted, proportion wise and beverage choice wise, to be a pretty delicious, relatively low carb meal. I had about 60 carbs of rice, but if you cut that amount in half to 30 carbs, the meal will still be great!

Ok, so first, I cooked the rice and let it sit and cool down while I was making the chicken, I like the way the colder rice tastes. The chicken is pretty simple, just dice it up on a cutting board into about 1 inch pieces. I set it aside while I made the rub. The rub itself is pretty simple. I just added what I felt was the right proportions of garlic powder, chili powder, basil, crushed red peppers, and salt and pepper. I just put all that in a bowl, mix it up and roll the pieces of chicken in it. After that its as simple as cooking the chicken in a skillet, and serving it over the rice.

6-5-12 3:35pm Yellow Rice under Spicy Chicken, with Lemon Iced Tea and milk.

I went with 2 beverages because the chicken actually turned out to be pretty fucking hot, so yeah. I made that happen.

5-26-12 3:32pm Whole Wheat Spaghetti with Meat Sauce with Onions and Peppers, Whole Wheat Italian Bread, Milk, and Parmesan Cheese.

So, I'm uploading this a few days after I ate it, as I am switching from using my cell phone, to using the actual website. This, of course, is all thanks to Will over at 10 to the 6 ( http://10tothe6th.blogspot.com/2012/05/bad-network-vlog-posts.html ). He got me the admin privileges I needed for the blog.

Now, onto this meal. It's a simple, but very delicious one. It takes about 15 minutes to make, and the cook time doesn't vary if you're planning on cooking for more than 1 person. I made enough for about 4 people and had some left overs to munch on in days ahead.

Basically, all I did was cook some onions in a small pot, and cooked about a pound of hamburg in a skillet. After that's done, I just cooked the whole wheat pasta, which I accidently grabbed instead of traditional pasta, and combined everything in the big pot and mixed in some tomato sauce.

Bing Bang Boom. Here we are. A meal that took very little effort. I grabbed some bread, and of course some Parmesan cheese, poured a glass of milk, sat down and enjoyed a movie.

Then Will came over, and we did free slushie day at all the 7/11's around Portland Maine. But! That's a whole other story, isn't it?

5-21-12 2:03pm Tuna Fish Sandwiches with Cheddar and Sour Cream Chips, nd Lemon Iced Tea.

Whipped up some Tuna Fish Sandwiches, nothing to special. Put a little bit more than usual Mayo on the wheat toast.

I also used the very last of the chips. Wasn't a lot there.